Every time I practice, every time I breath, every time I meditate, I am teaching myself to begin again, again. There is not finish line. Working on myself is a lifelong commitment, just like breathing, and continuing to have a heartbeat. This week during our 40 Days Bring IT program I had a major lesson in “Begin again.”
I entered into the 40 day program this time with a cavalier attitude toward the work. This is my 8th time reading 40 Days to a Personal Revelation, and going through the process. Due to a heavy travel schedule in the first few weeks, the work slipped. I found myself not reading the chapters on time, not completing the excavation questions, and even my meditation practice was spotty at best. I would show up to the community discussions knowing that I’ve answered these questions in the past and so I can just share from that space. Deep down, I knew I was cheating myself.
As we entered week 3 for restoration, I resisted the fruit cleans. After all, I’ve done a LOT of cleansing and made permanent changes in my diet to be more clean and natural. I didn’t feel I needed it. I was hiding. Luckily, I snapped out of it over the weekend and began again.
On Sunday I just couldn’t keep hiding any more. I woke up early and reread each chapter and completed the excavation question for each one. When I sat down to do this, I still had no intention of doing the fruit fast, because, after-all it was kinda too late at this point, wasn’t it? After the few hours it took me to do the reading and journaling, I realized that for breakfast, I wanted a big bowl of fruit! By lunchtime, I wanted a huge avocado and corn salad! By dinnertime I realized that I was recommitted and had begun again!
I’m now on Day 3 of the fruit fast. I feel more integrate. I feel like I’m working through. I’m back into the program with full force, meditating, reading, and doing the work. I am dropping the lies I was telling myself and I am beginning again, again. And as I write this, I am reminded that every single moment, of every single day, is an opportunity to truly begin again, again…. And again, and again.
SDY Student and Teacher