Begin Again, Again. By Rachel Camero

Every time I practice, every time I breath, every time I meditate, I am teaching myself to begin again, again.  There is not finish line.  Working on myself is a lifelong commitment, just like breathing, and continuing to have a heartbeat.  This week during our 40 Days Bring IT program I had a major lesson in “Begin again.”
I entered into the 40 day program this time with a cavalier attitude toward the work.  This is my 8th time reading 40 Days to a Personal Revelation, and going through the process.  Due to a heavy travel schedule in the first few weeks, the work slipped.  I found myself not reading the chapters on time, not completing the excavation questions, and even my meditation practice was spotty at best. I would show up to the community discussions knowing that I’ve answered these questions in the past and so I can just share from that space.  Deep down, I knew I was cheating myself.
As we entered week 3 for restoration, I resisted the fruit cleans.  After all, I’ve done a LOT of cleansing and made permanent changes in my diet to be more clean and natural.  I didn’t feel I needed it.  I was hiding.  Luckily, I snapped out of it over the weekend and began again.
On Sunday I just couldn’t keep hiding any more.  I woke up early and reread each chapter and completed the excavation question for each one.  When I sat down to do this, I still had no intention of doing the fruit fast, because, after-all it was kinda too late at this point, wasn’t it?  After the few hours it took me to do the reading and journaling, I realized that for breakfast, I wanted a big bowl of fruit!  By lunchtime, I wanted a huge avocado and corn salad!  By dinnertime I realized that I was recommitted and had begun again!
I’m now on Day 3 of the fruit fast.  I feel more integrate.  I feel like I’m working through.  I’m back into the program with full force, meditating, reading, and doing the work.  I am dropping the lies I was telling myself and I am beginning again, again.  And as I write this, I am reminded that every single moment, of every single day, is an opportunity to truly begin again, again…. And again, and again.
Rachel Camero
SDY Student and Teacher

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